Speed Your Love To Me
by coloursflyaway
Summary: That night I whispered 'You'll always have me' a thousand times, in a thousand different ways.


_A/N: First of all, I've got to warn you guys, this is completely OOC. I mean it. Still, I needed to get it out of my head, because it had been stuck in there for quite some time (: The title and the first line are by Simple Minds.  
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_Also, I know that I actually should be writig chapters and stuff, but well...I'll try to get to that, too. Just bear with me a little longer (: _

_Oh, and before I forget: I'd like to dedicate this to my little sister, too, because her school year just started, which is, of course, terrible and I feel like doing something nice to her...although she'd probably prefer me making her pancakes or something similar.  
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><p>I couldn't sleep a wink last night.<p>

I couldn't sleep last night either, or the one before; it's been like this since you've gone, since I don't know where you are anymore. It scares me, not knowing, but what scares me the most is that you didn't even hesitate before risking your life for the rest of the world once more. Of course it hurts, too, that you didn't even think twice about leaving me alone, but deep down, I know that you did it to keep everyone save. To keep me save.

The knowledge doesn't keep me from blaming it on your damn hero complex or, if I'm angry, your general stupidity, though. Sadly, it doesn't help much, not when I still can't touch, hear, _see_ you.

What does help a little, sometimes, is the anger.

One should think that defeating the Dark Lord- no, _Voldemort_, as you have taught me to call him- once should be enough, but apparently it isn't. The world just keeps on pulling you back to him, and with that, pulling us apart.

When being furious at the world isn't enough to keep my thoughts off the fact that I just _miss_ you so terribly, I try to be angry at you for not listening to me whenever you make it back for a few minutes -maybe half an hour if we are lucky- no matter how much I beg you to _please, please, please_ keep out of danger, to let someone else do it, to stay with me.

Because instead of curling up and forgetting about everyone else with me, you hold me, you always do, and whisper how you'd love to, but can't. I try to be all sensible and grown-up and tell you that it is fine, that I am fine, but in the end, I break down.

Somehow I know you're going to be the death of me, since before you came with your brilliant smiles, your apologies and understanding, no one could have reduced me to begging, especially not for them to stay. Before you, it was fine being alone, and now suddenly, an empty room doesn't feel like freedom anymore, but like someone is missing.

Mother asked me if I was fine yesterday, the concern clearly written on her face, and I didn't even have the strength to snap at her. I'm scared of what would happen if they'd find out; my parents have been the only constant in my life since you came and ripped it apart, just to put it together in all the wrong and right ways again, and if they knew that between the two of us the hate has long since subsided, they'd go after you even more than they do now for turning their beloved son in the wrong direction, in every way.

They can be more vicious than you could imagine so if I can keep them away from you somehow, I will, even if it means bearing the Dark Mark for the rest of my life, torturing and being tortured, killing and being killed.

For if they'd catch you, I'd die anyway.

There are nights when I dream about the last battle the Death-eaters are constantly talking about, the curses, the screams, the pain. Every single time I see you lying dead and when I wake up, my cheeks are damp.

When I told you about the dreams, you just chuckled softly and told me I worried too much; you kissed me and I just knew you were as scared as me.

It's one of the good things of having been your nemesis for such a long time; I can tell each of your weaknesses.

However, you pulled away and there was a smile on your lips and a sense of determination in your eyes when you told me that there was no way you would die as long as you'd have me to come back to.

That night I whispered _You'll always have me_ a thousand times, in a thousand different ways.

So I tell myself not to worry, for you always keep your promises, but then I hear my parents talking about you and know that there is every reason to fear.

And that's why it only takes me a second to get to the fireplace when I see the flames flicker and hug you to my chest the second your frame appears. There's no place for either of us to breath anymore, but I couldn't care less, because I need to make sure you're really here with me and I can only hope that you feel the same way. You sneak your arms around my waist and pull me even closer; it should hurt, but it doesn't because it's you and I've been longing for this moment since you left the last time.

'I don't have long', you whisper and I don't want to hear, because I've known all along anyway. There never was a time when you had long, first because of your friends and now because of your quest.

Maybe, if we'll both live through the war, we'll have time.

I nod and crush my lips to yours. Everything is rushed and intense and desperate, but just now, there is no other way to do it. You respond with equal force, and I don't know how to explain my bruised and bitten lips tomorrow.

Still, the thought of having proof that you were here in the morning is the most reassuring one I had all day.

The feel of your lips and teeth nipping down my throat is addictive as you leave harsh, red marks on my skin, which will have my mother even more suspicious, but instead of pushing you away, and stopping you from leaving more evidence, I crane my neck and gasp when you bite down particularly hard. I can feel your grin against my collarbone, and although it feels like the most difficult thing I have ever done, I pull your head up, until you're looking at me. Since, no matter how much my body has missed this, I need to see you, to hear you much more than anything.

At first the surprise is prominent in your eyes, but then you understand and just lean in to peck my lips once more. It's short and chaste, but you still taste like you did when we kissed for the first time a few months ago, which feel like a few years now. I can almost smell the wet grass of the Quidditch field and feel the rain against my skin.

How I wish we could go back to when the biggest problem we had was to avoid that ginger friend of yours.

You pull back, looking concern, and it is only then that I notice that a sob has escaped my throat.

'It's nothing', I reply to your unspoken question and reach up to let my fingers run along your jaw line, your lips, your nose, 'I'm just so happy to have you here.'

Your eyes soften and when you embrace me once more, my head falls upon your shoulder instantly, because, even if it took me years and years to realize, this is where I belong.

'Yeah, me too', you say quietly against my neck, vibrations tickling my skin, and weave a hand into my hair; 'I missed you. Quite terribly, even.'

Against my will I smile, before asking, 'Where are you at the moment?'

There's a pause, and I know you're thinking hard, before you answer, 'I don't really know. Loads of mountains around and not a clue at all where to go next. Although Hermione might know what we are doing; I let her do most of the thinking nowadays. It doesn't work that well when my thoughts are on you all of the time.'

My heart swells at your words; I lift my head and move so our foreheads are touching. 'Mine are always with you.'

You smile as if you've heard me say this for the first time and with our breaths mixing in the small space between us you whisper, 'I love you' as if you've never said it before.

'I love you too', I reply and lean in to capture your lips once more.

The kiss doesn't last long, because you suddenly pull away and glance on the clock behind me. There are no words spoken, but they aren't needed anyway, because I know exactly what this means.

'Don't go', I choke out, my throat tightening.

'I've got to', you say and pull me close to your chest once more, 'If there was any other way, I'd stay, but there isn't.' You lift my chin so I have to look at you, have to let you see the tears which have already gathered in the corners of my eyes. I'm still not comfortable with you seeing me so weak, 'One day, and I promise you that, one day this is all going to be over and then we'll have all the time in the world. But until then we'll have to do with what we've got.'

I nod weakly, and let you hold me. The thought that this might be the last time I see you has me sobbing once more and I can feel that you're almost crying, too.

After a moment you pull away from my embrace, reluctantly letting go of my hand.

'I have to go', you say unnecessarily, 'But I swear, Draco, _I swear_ I'll come back.'

One last look and another mutual _I love you_ and the flames consume you, bringing you back to the mountains you have come from.

I'm glad you can't see me anymore when my feet give out and I tumble to the floor uselessly. It's a scary thought, how much I've grown attached to you in such short time, but no matter how frightening it is, I wouldn't want to change it, because for once in my life I've got something to truly believe in. Through my tears I look into the flames as if they still would bear traces of you and force myself up. You wouldn't want me to be this way and I've got to be ready for your return, whenever it may be, since you will definitely come back.

You promised.


End file.
